Making a Difference

The Starfish

Once upon a time, there was an old man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing.  He had a habit of walking on the beach every morning before he began his work.  Early one morning, he was walking along the shore after a big storm had passed and found the vast beach littered with starfish as far as the eye could see, stretching in both directions.

Off in the distance, the old man noticed a small boy approaching.  As the boy walked, he paused every so often and as he grew closer, the man could see that he was occasionally bending down to pick up an object and throw it into the sea.  The boy came closer still and the man called out, "Good morning!  May I ask what it is that you are doing?"

The young boy paused, looked up, and replied, "Throwing starfish into the ocean.  The tide has washed them up onto the beach and they can't return to the sea by themselves," the youth replied.  "When the sun gets high, they will die, unless I throw them back into the water."

The old man replied, "But there must be tens of thousands of starfish on this beach.  I'm afraid you won't really be able to make of a difference."

The boy bent down, picked up yet another starfish and threw it as far as he could into the ocean.  He turned, smiled and said, "It made a difference to that one."

adapted from "The Star Thrower" by Loren Eiseley

The above story is one most of us have heard many times, but it hits home for me right now.  

Now that both of my daughters are grown and away from home I often wonder what I have to contribute to others.  How can I make a difference in the life of an other?  For the last 22 years my life has been centered around my girls and my family.  In raising them to be generous, responsible, loving young women, I felt like I was making a difference in my little part of the world.  My goal during that time was to be the best mom and wife that I could be.  

Now, my world and focus have changed.  Sometimes, as I ponder on my life, I wonder what I have to offer the world.  How can I make a difference in the world and in the lives of those around me.  At times I have felt empty, feeling that I have nothing to offer.  I often look at myself wondering if I really have anything to share with those around me.  As I would allow myself to look past the empty feelings and find those gifts and talents I have to offer, I found the answer is a resounding yes!

I have had to take time to think of what talents I really possess.  I am not an artist, a singer, a painter, a writer, or a musician.  I had to dig deeper.  I found that I do have things to share and my goal is to begin to share these gifts more freely with others. I can be a "Star Thrower."  I can make a difference in the world by lifting another.  Small and simple acts like a heart-felt note, a smile, cookies and a hug on a rough day can often be enough to turn someone's day around.  I am now trying not miss these opportunities, for as I try bringing joy to another I bring greater joy in to my own life.

If you would like ideas on how you can serve others, check out the following website.  It contains ideas on how you can lift others through random acts of kindness.  We would love to hear about some of your experiences.

http://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-videos

Finding Perfection

There are times when everything seems to be going wrong in our lives and in the world around us.  During those times we may begin to question if our Heavenly Father is truly there for us and if so, why has he given us so many trials.  At times of struggle we often forget the amazing times and the blessings we take for granted every day.  In today's world we want everything to be perfect.  We want to be perfect and at the same time we want the perfect obedient children; the perfect job; the perfect (spotless) house; and so much more.  Sometimes we are so busy looking for perfection that we miss the little things in life that can bring us so much joy if we slow down long enough to recognize it.

I recently had the opportunity to spend several days at girls' camp with a group of 26 amazing young women from my church.  The girls were 12 to 18 years old.  During the days at camp, I was able to witness perfection.

No, I am not saying the girls were always perfect and that nothing went wrong, but there were definitely perfect moments.

We are blessed to have sweet Berkley in our neighborhood and ward.  When one first meets Berkley, they may recognize her developmental disorder, but will quickly come to know the joy she brings with her.  Berkley also brings perfect moments to this group of girls.  Perfect moments as bright as the smile on her face that can pierce right through my soul.

This sweet 14 year-old loves with a pure Christ-like love and others return that same love to her.  Berkley brings out perfection in the rest of us.  There are many perfect moments I could list, but I will just list two for now.

Perfect moment #1

Berkley is unable to walk on her own and using her walker isn't feasible at camp.  We had a stroller for her, but that too, can be cumbersome on the dirt, gravel and grass.  This was never a problem.  As moments came when she needed assistance getting to the different activities, girls would quickly volunteer to walk by her side, holding her arms so she could walk with them.  No one had to be asked.  No one complained.  They were happy to help this amazing daughter of God.  They simply did it because they love her, and she loves them.

In the Book of Mormon, Mosiah Chapter 2, verse 17 reads, "And behold, I tell you these things that ye may learn wisdom; that ye may learn that when ye are in the service of your fellow beings ye are only in the service of your God."

Perfect moment #2

On the last day of camp we had one more chance to ride horses.  With 26 girls and only 16 horses available, it was decided that it would be Berkley's solo ride.  The girls were told they could come with and watch her as she rode the horse, or they could stay at the cabin and get ready for boating.  All 26 girls chose to walk up the hill to the stables and celebrate this time with Berkley.  They cheered her on as she got ready to ride and then watched and celebrated as she made her solo ride around the corrals and down the trail.  Berkley lit up as she saw her friends supporting her, however, at that moment she wasn't the only light I saw.  As I witnessed these girls celebrate the joy they saw in her, they radiated a light that was undeniable.  At that moment, everything was perfect.  There was no jealousy or discontent, just pure, perfect love.


I am lucky.  Twice a week, because of Berkley, I am reminded to look for moments of perfection.  My life is so easy when compared to Berkley's, yet joy radiates from her. Perfection follows her.

As we go through this life, it can get overwhelming.  We can expect so much from ourselves and those around us.  Our Heavenly Father doesn't expect us to live a perfect life, he only expects us to do our best.  If we stumble, our Savior is there waiting to catch us, to lift us up. As we continue to get back up and continue our journey, we can be perfected through Him.  We need to remind ourselves that life isn't perfect, that we are not perfect, but we can all find those perfect moments.  Write them down, cherish them and go back to them as you struggle through the hard times.  Sometimes remembering a perfect moment, or that perfect smile of a love one can be enough to get us through a difficult day.

“Be Ye Therefore Perfect”

June 1989 Ensign

Christ commanded his disciples to be perfect, even as he and his Father are. But this commandment may seem overwhelming. Some may become discouraged. Others become so worried about achieving personal perfection that they seek for their own glorification rather than for ways to serve others.

Moroni taught that we should “come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; … and love God with all your might, mind and strength, … that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ.” (Moro. 10:32.)

If we love and serve the Lord and keep his commandments, it will be possible for us to become “perfect in Christ.” We will feel peace and strength, even in times of difficulty or heartache. Our burdens will be easier to bear, and we will be better able to help others bear theirs as well. (See Gal. 6:2; Mosiah 18:8–10; Mosiah 24:14–15, 21; Alma 33:23.)

We can find comfort in our efforts to become perfect from the example of the Prophet Joseph Smith. The Lord once counseled him, “Do not run faster or labor more than you have strength and means.” (D&C 10:4.) Like Joseph, we are not required to do more than we have strength and means to do. Nor do we have to become perfect in all things right now. “We have to become perfect to be saved in the celestial kingdom,” said Elder Bruce R. McConkie.

“But nobody becomes perfect in this life. Only the Lord Jesus attained that state, and he had an advantage that none of us has. He was the Son of God. … Becoming perfect in Christ is a process.” (1976 Devotional Speeches of the Year, Provo: Brigham Young University Press, 1977, pages 399–400.)

Several people in one ward learned about that process by accepting their bishop’s challenge to live a “perfect day.” One young man found that starting the day by reading the scriptures helped his day to be brighter. A woman and her husband found great joy as they visited sick ward members. (See Tambuli, April 1989.)

We attain perfection a little at a time, with the Lord’s help. “We begin to keep the commandments today,” said Elder McConkie, “And we keep more of them tomorrow, and we go from grace to grace, up the steps of the ladder, and thus we improve and perfect our souls.” (Ibid., page 400.) That is our challenge—to begin today.

www.mormon.org

The Girl Who Lived

On Monday we celebrated a birthday at our house.  The celebration was about a week late, but thankfully when the guest of honor is four you can get away with that.  The little birthday girl goes by many names:  we have called her "Pretty Pretty" since she was little.  She likes us to call her our princess; occasionally her siblings resort to the dubious titles of "Supreme Ruler" or "Tyrant".

I love birthdays.  I love passing those milestones with each of my seven kids, a public reminder of the blessing of spending one more year in their lives.  In the mom department I have been blessed with having it relatively easy.  All seven are pretty amazing people.  However, Pretty Pretty's birthday is also my reminder that miracles exist,  that the answer is sometimes "yes", and that on occasion the heavens do open and quietly pour out miracles.

Our Pretty Pretty joined our family on a sunny June day.  Her birth was much anticipated.  It followed numerous miscarriages, and a search for a treatment that would allow us to have the child that we knew was waiting to join our family.  Finding the cause of the problem was a miracle in itself:   Had I experienced the same issues with my oldest three there would have been no known treatment, and my chances of success would have been less than 20%.  I was also greatly blessed to find a doctor who was willing to search for a cause rather than just using my six living children as anecdotal evidence that all should work out eventually. Maintaining the pregnancy required two shots of blood thinner a day, as well as treatment for some other conditions and many weeks of moderate bedrest.

As we arrived at the hospital for her birth, it felt very much like reaching the finish line of a long, arduous race.  Our miracle girl, much anticipated by our entire family, was finally making her debut.  Things progressed quickly and beautifully, and we soon found that I was nearly dilated with minimal pain.  About 10 minutes before it was time to push, things changed drastically.  The cord dropped down below our baby's head, cutting off her oxygen supply.  The problem was caught quickly and  the doctor was in an office just down the hall.  As quickly as humanly possible they rushed me into surgery.  There was no time for sterilization or a neat incision, but they got our baby out in record time.

The heroic efforts by the staff were not quite enough to keep her heart beating.  Since the epidural was not in full effect I could feel the moment they pulled out  my still, silent little girl.  They quietly rushed her to a trauma room for efforts at resuscitation. I have never prayed as hard as I did during those long minutes on that stretcher ride and operating room table. Our much anticipated Pretty Pretty had an apgar score of zero at one minute after birth.  She was essentially stillborn.

 Ten agonizing minutes later a nurse returned to tell us that she was not breathing on her own, but she had regained a heartbeat.  We were given dire predictions about brain damage due to lack of oxygen; all we could do is continue to pray and to rely on Heavenly Father to help our girl.  Thanks to many prayers and a much needed blessing, 24 hours later she was nursing, breathing completely on her own, and was able to move from ICU into my room.  The hospital stay was extended to five days, but that was mostly due to the lack of sterilization (for me) during surgery rather than due to her needs. We took her home the next weekend with a little bandage over the cut on the side of her head  from the quick work with the scalpel that saved her life.  Like Harry Potter, under her honey colored hair she still carries a little scar that reminds us that she was "The Girl Who Lived".

I type this out with some hesitation.  I am painfully aware that when waiting for a miracle, the outcome isn't always exactly what you might wish.  My first thought goes to the parents of two little boys lost in infancy, so very much missed, who did not receive the miracle that we did.  Both sets of parents have strengths that we don't have, and deserved to raise their miracles as much or more than we deserved ours. I have met many other dear friends over the last few years who have lost little ones.  Circumstances vary, but the pain is always far reaching and life changing.  I continue to hope and believe that the day will come for a joyous reunion, and the long years of grief will seem as a small moment to those who have endured it.

This week, though, I am especially thankful that the answer is sometimes "yes", that miracles do happen, and that four years ago we were on the receiving end of a huge one.  And the predicted brain damage?  The only possible residual effect we have seen in this  quick, feisty, generous little girl is that she tends to faint when she cries hard.  We will take it.  Miracles still exist, and every day I am grateful for this one.

Happy Birthday, Pretty Pretty!

(Pretty Pretty with her cousin, whose birth was a miracle in its own right)

Two Words

Two Words...

Tiger's Blood.

Or if that isn't your flavor:

Shaved Ice.

Yum.

It's a little treat we only get once or twice a year.  But when we do, it puts an instant smile on my face.  We all have our "things".  Those little pleasures that seem to brighten any day.  So share!  We want to know!  What are your two words?  

Life is Hard... and Good

My kind of memories...

It's been a while since I've contributed to our blog. But I have a good reason and, although it may not seem like much of a topic for Lemonade Stand Sisters, I feel compelled to share.  And I promise, it will fit.
Two weeks ago yesterday, my sweet niece passed away.  I won't say we "lost" her because she isn't lost, we know right where she is.  Kayla left behind a broken hearted family including two beautiful daughters.  My heart still breaks when I think of her and even more so when I try to imagine the pain her husband and daughters are feeling.  And the hole left in the hearts of her Mom, Step Dad, sister and brothers.  It has been heart wrenching.  But there is good news.  Lemonade.

First, we are still standing.  Which is no small miracle.

Second, through all this, we found moments of happiness and joy.  A family that had been apart far too long gathered together.  And those who couldn't travel to Colorado, found their own ways to be there.  Denny, drowning in work, held down the fort at home so I could make the trip.  As did my brothers-in-law.  His brother Derek and his fiance' couldn't make it either.  But they supported us all with their love and they worked to make it so their Mom and I could fly which made the trip much easier on Colleen's broken neck.

We gathered and we laughed.  And cried.  We released 25 pink balloons for Kayla - one for each year she lived.  We made rainbow cupcakes because Kayla loved them.  (We made a mess in the process because that's how I roll).  We gathered for meals, enjoying Udon soup made by Kate.  We had quiet conversations and expressed words of love that are often left unspoken.  And we laughed.  It felt so good to laugh.  To remember happy times.  And create more happy memories even in hard times.
One of my favorite memories is pictured above.  About half the family hit the road Wednesday morning for the drive back to Utah.  Bret and Kate were waiting for their evening flight as were Colleen and I.  After a lovely bowl of Pho, we decided to "fill in the cracks" with frozen yogurt.  Because we're such nice people, we decided to each take a picture of our adventure and text it to those on the road.  Separately.  The first text was sent.  The reply: "Aw, miss your face!"  Then the next text.  And the next.   By the time the last text was sent the replies were not so sweet, something about breaking their hearts.  There may have been threats.  Then the promise of a do over in Utah.   Still makes me smile.

So here we are and another week has gone by.  And the tears still come, but the smiles are more frequent.  I feel so grateful for the new memories made.  There is truly an opportunity for Lemonade in everything.  And it felt so good to find it.

Releasing a balloon for her Mommy...

Some Vacation!

'Tis the season for family vacations!  My husband and I are into throwing in as much science and education as we can.  Someone asked one of our girls the other day if they ever relaxed.  My daughter told them, "this IS relaxing!  We do science projects for fun!"

When I saw the story below, it made me smile.  It is a vacation after my own heart. :)


 Prehistoric Vacation

Angel Flight

It is so refreshing to find a happy story in the news.

This week KSL shared a story about Angel Flight West.  Angel Flight is comprised of pilots who donate free air transportation in response to health care and other compelling human needs.

The story shared on KSL was about a young girl, Taleah, from St. George.  Taleah is suffering with leukemia. Traveling the distance from St. George to Primary Children's Hospital for chemotherapy is too taxing on her body, and the cost of airfare is too high.  Luckily, they were introduced to Angel Flight.

Salt Lake City pilot, John Trentman, donates his time and plane to help in cases just like Taleah's.  This army of pilots make it easier on these sweet patients and on their families.  I can not imagine the worry a mother would have as she makes the five hour drive to get her daughter chemo, knowing that she then as to make the return trip with a child who is now struggling with the effects of that chemo.  What a blessing these pilots are to the families they serve.

To see KSL's article, you can visit http://www.ksl.com/index.php?sid=25450797&nid=148&title=pilot-mixes-work-with-charity-to-help-young-cancer-patient

For more information on Angel Flight, please visit http://www.angelflightwest.org